Determination overtakes Homesickness

So... I took my sister to the airport on that Friday- the 3rd or whatever it is. I then came back and spent the rest of Friday, all day Saturday and most of Sunday sitting up in my bed, computer with me, watching movies or uploading photos. I avoided my roommates and just sort of wallowed in my distractions of that "my family just left me and I'm lonely" feeling.

But with the start of the week came the return of routine. And thus I was out of bed and working and seeing people-- good things. I was trying to plan my February vacation (yeah, I know... we just had Christmas vaca, now we have "winter vacation"... in April we'll have "spring vacation"... I never work really). At any rate, I was planning and I was struggling. In the typical post-holiday-blues fashion I was lonely and as much as I really wanted to see Vienna and Prague (and still do) I didn't want to travel alone. I tried to find people to travel with me. I even asked a couple of my previous travel buddies from the states if they'd be willing to fly over the big blue ocean and rejoin me. Insert Sad Face. No such luck. What? You mean people have lives and jobs and obligations and careers? What kind of crap is that? Sigh...

For one day I considered coming home for a vacation. I seriously considered it. I sat there looking at the rediculously cheap airfare and, still immersed in self-pity I called/ messaged all those people who I thought might bring me to my senses. See, I knew in my HEAD that I shouldn't come home. I knew in my HEAD that I should travel and I should take advantage of being here. I knew in my HEAD that I was in Europe and I needed to enjoy it while I could. But my HEART was pounding so loudly in my ears that it missed home I could barely think. I google-chatted with Shawn and John and I called Janki. These are people who adored travel. These are people who will make me appreciate where I am and they are the people who will quiet my heart long enough that I can hear my head. And I was right- they did just that. They were all very sypathetic in saying that if I really needed it, of course I could come home. But they all drove the point home as it needed to be done-- I think the best comment was, "home will always be there; you, however, won't always be there*. (*there being France) Once you are home the adventure may be over, so live the adventure now."

So outside of one super fun international soiree last weekend (I went out with a Brazillian, 2 Columbian, a girl from El Salvador, and 2 other Americans-- good fun!), these past 2 weeks have sort of sailed by in stagnant quiet as movies, planning vacation, and wallowing overtook my life.

But determination has taken a good strong hold of me now and I'm already feeling better. First of all, I decided not to travel alone but also not to go home. I'm going to try and visit family friends in Spain. This way I'll be with people and I'll have a sort of "family" aspect to life, but I'll still be seeing and enjoying Europe while I have it. And besides... who doesn't want to go to the south of Spain and visit the beach? Secondly, I've taken a very old school tactic at feeling better- and by that I mean returning to old music to brighten my day. My current play list of cheer includes:

"L.O.V.E." by Frank Sinatra

"Please Mr. Postman" by the Marvellettes

"Mama Said" by the Shirelles

"Be My Baby" by the Ronetts

"Love Potion Number 9"... I have two different artists, so I don't know who it's really by

"Johnny B. Goode" by Chuck Berry

"Brown Eyed Girl" by Van Morrison

"California Dreamin'" by The Mama's and The Papa's

"Don't Worry Baby" by The Beach Boys

"The Grease Mega Mix" mostly by John Travolta

"The Sounds of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkel

"House on Pooh Corner" by Loggins and Messina

"My Girl" by The Temptations

"Vehevela" by Loggins and Messina

"When A Man Loves A Woman" by Percy Sledge

"Unchained Melody" by The Righteous Brothers

Several Beatles songs

That's not everything, but you get the idea. It makes me happy and keeps me smiling.

So with good music to keep me smiling, exciting plans to keep my chin up and the potential prospect of a 2nd job which would help fill some of my free time (I'm applying at a cafe/bar where they're looking for English speakers), I'm back to my smiley self. :)

I'm also thinking about seeing if a dance studio will let me come in for a couple hours a week and just use their space-- dance, choreograph, stretch- do whatever I need or want. This lack of endorphins from my lack of activity has to be messing with my system I've decided. :P

I probably won't stay here for another year, like I had origionally planned. But I'm no quitter!! I'm determined: I'm going to enjoy my time here as best I can and take on the adventures whilst they present themselves.